SOME MALAY JOKES

Mari terjun!!!

Dalam satu kejadian yg agak susah nak diterima akal, iaitu sebuah kapalterbang telah mengalami kerosakan enjin dan sedang menjunam hendakterhempas, terdapat 5 org penumpang di dalamnya tetapi beg parachute kecemasan hanya ada 4.

Berkata laa penumpang pertama, "Aku Hafiz Hashim. Malaysia perlukan aku.Kalau aku tadak, mcmmana nanti Malaysia nak menang All England lagi?". Laludia mengambil beg pertama dan terus terjun.

Penumpang kedua pulak berkata, "Aku Hillary Clinton, bekas calon presidenwanita pertama di US. Aku seorang yg paling bercita2 tinggi dan aku jugasenator New York. Aku juga berpotensi nak jadi seorang President". Dia pulamengambil satu beg dan terus terjun.

Penumpang ketiga menyampuk, "Ahh... aku President US! George W. Bush. Aku ada tanggungjawab yg berat untuk menjaga sebuah negara yg kuat. Tambahanpula, akulah President yg terpandai dlm sejarah US. Org Amerika mana yghendak melihat aku mati?". Dia terus menyentap satu beg dan terus terjun.

Penumpang keempat, Osama Bin Laden berkata kepada penumpang kelima, seorangbudak berumur 10 tahun, "Saya seorang Muslim dan saya berserah kpd Allahutk menentukan hidup dan mati saya. Adik ambillah beg parachute yg terakhir tu".

Budak 10 tahun itu menjawap, "Jgn bimbang. Ada satu lagi beg parachute utkpakcik. President terpandai dalam sejarah US tu terambil beg sekolahsaya!!!".

Deduksi

Jiran 1 : Wahh... baru pindah ke?
Jiran baru : Ah... ya. Saya baru pindah ke sini. Cantik ye kat sini.
Jiran 1 : Encik ni kerja apa?
Jiran baru : Oh... saya ni seorang professor di universiti. Saya mengajar pasal deduksi.
Jiran 1 : Deduksi? Apa kebendenye tu?
Jiran baru : OK. Mcm ni. Saya bagi satu contoh. Saya nampak ada rumah anjing kat belakang rumah encik. Dengan itu, saya dapat rumuskan yg encikni bela anjing.
Jiran 1 : Ya, betul.
Jiran baru : Fakta tadi membawa saya merumuskan yg encik ini berkeluarga.
Jiran 1 : Huh... betul lagi.
Jiran baru : Dan fakta yg encik ni berkeluarga membolehkan saya merumuskanyg encik ini beristeri.
Jiran 1 : Tepat sekali.
Jiran baru: Itulah deduksi.

Petang itu...

Jiran 1 : Saya baru je bersembang dgn jiran sebelah... baru pindah.
Jiran 2 : Ooo... dia kerja apa?
Jiran 1 : Dia ni seorang professor, mengajar deduksi.
Jiran 2 : Apa tu??
Jiran 1 : OK, saya bagi contoh. Awak ada anjing kat rumah?
Jiran 2 : Tak.
Jiran 1 : Aishehman...

Bodoh

Dua org bos besar sedang lepak2 sambil minum kopi di Coffee Bean. Bos sorang ni berkata, "Hey, awak nak tahu, saya punya driver punya laa bodoh.Kalau tak percaya, sekejap saya panggil dia". Dia memanggil driver dia danberkata,"Ah Beng... awak amik ini RM10, pergi kat showroom dan belikan sayaPorche 911 Turbo". Ah Beng jawab,"Yes sir! Orait!!" dan terus bergegas keshowroom kereta.

Bos yg satu lagi pulak berkata,"Ohh.. tu ok lagi. Saya punya driver lagi bodoh. Leman!, meh sini kejap!!". Leman berlari ke bosnya. "Apahal tuan?".Bosnya berkata, "Awak pegi balik rumah, check sama ada saya ada di rumahatau tidak". Leman jawab, "Orait tuan!!", lalu bergegas balik ke rumahbosnya.

Bosnya berkata kpd bos satu lagi, "Tengok! Si Leman ni mmg bengap nak mampos. Dah tau saya kat sini, takkan laa dia tak boleh fikir yg sayani ada di rumah ke tidak. Hahaha...".

Petang itu, bertemu laa dua org driver tadi.

Si Ah Beng berkata,"Lu tau ka,gua punya bos aa... maaaaanyak bodoh laa. Dia kasi sama gua sepuluh ringgitsuruh beli Porche. Dia tatak tau ka ini hari, hari Ahad. Mana kedai bukak?".

Si Leman balas balik, "Hehe.. bos aku laaagi bodoh. Ada ke dia suruh aku check dia ada kat rumah ke tak. Dia ada henset, call je laa rumah kalau naktau sangat. Bengap betul".

gosh...its the end of school holidays

and i have to go to work next week!!!!_&((*^&*^&%(^$%^#$&

let's make fun of my super sweet sixteen...this is fun

The Faith of My Fathers- A Family Memoir by John McCain

Today, I watched an amazingly inspiring movie- The Faith of My Fathers- A Family Memoir which is based on best-selling memoir (I've told you i love reading autobios!) by John McCain. Books by politicians are not often worth reading, but John McCain's Faith of My Fathers is an astonishing exception to the rule. The Republican senator from Arizona has a remarkable story to tell--better than just about any of his peers--and he tells it well, with crisp prose and an unexpected sense for narrative pacing. The beginning of the movie concerns his naval forbears: his grandfather commanded an aircraft carrier in the Second World War, while his father presided over all naval forces in the Pacific during the Vietnam War. They were the first father-son admirals in American history. Young John McCain knew he had enormous shoes to fill and rebelled against many of the expectations set for him. At the Naval Academy, he was nearly expelled, graduating fifth from the bottom of his class. He never became an admiral, but achieved fame another way: as a naval aviator in 1967, he was shot down over North Vietnam and spent several years in POW camps (McCain is famous for the five years he endured as a prisoner in the Hanoi Hilton, the most notorious POW camp in Vietnam), where he was beaten, tortured, and nearly allowed to die (it was so horrific to see how war prisoners were tortured). McCain describes the awful details of his imprisonment and tells how he stayed mentally strong during seemingly endless months of solitary confinement and how he communicated in code with fellow captives. Faith of My Fathers concludes with McCain's release and contains no information about his subsequent political career, which is to me is good coz I have more interests in his life story as a war prisoner rather than being a political leader. It is, nonetheless, a complete and compelling memoir of individual heroism. The faith McCain avows is a simple one: "in God, country, and each other". I'm definitely gonna get this book at Kinokuniya.

countdown to MY birthday

hahah.....its already June 6 (6.6) which is kinda significant to my birthday that falls on 8.8. hmmm...what should i ask from my boyfriend??????? a laptop?? a new pc? a new carrrrrrr? (evil grin)

I dont love you- My Chemical Romance

Where'd you go?

So never think I'd make you try to stay,

And maybe when we get there,

I'll think enough,

To find another way,

When after all this time,

Is you still around,

You're still the god falling nothing I have found,

So take your glass again,

And get out,

While you can,

Where'd you go?

And would you even turn to say,

I don't love you,

Like I did yesterday,

Sometimes I cry so hard for pleading,

So sick and tired all the mean less meaning,

But baby when they knock you down and out,

It's where you'll wanna stay,

And after all the blood that you still have,

Another time I was chancing it all around,

So fix your eyes and get up,

Baby, get up,

While you can,

Where'd you go?

And would you even turn to say,

I don't love you,

Like I did yesterday,

Where'd you go?

Would you have the guts to say,

I don't love you,

Like I loved you,

Yesterday,

I couldn't love you,

Like I loved you,

Yesterday,

I don't love you,

Like I loved you yesterday

what?? i just dont understand this!

check out my latest poll

my guestbook

do sign my guestbook

I'm the lionesssssssssss...grrrrr hear me roarrrrrrrrrrrr

Hmmm....Kids in school think quick!!

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
_________________________________________

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_________________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
_________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
_________________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that wedidn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
________________________________________

TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
________________________________________

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
________________________________________

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
________________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
________________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
________________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
________________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking whenpeople are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

I'm happy with the results!!!!

heya all...its funny that i came across these quizzes and it gets funnier when i found that my sex appeal is extremely high...hmmmm but at least I know that i'm not a b**** oh yeah and my life is worth $664,500...cheezz should've bought 3 insurance plans. anyway...why dont you have a share on those quizzes and maybe you can tell me your results later.....enjoy!!

You Are 72% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room. You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

You Are 30% Bitchy

You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts. Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!

How Bitchy Are You?

Your Life Is Worth...

$664,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

my own fashion avenue

ever seen Jodie Kidd and her wonderful tastes in fashion on Fashion Avenue? well, let's check out my inner Jodie Kidd and browse some of Malaysian latest designs.

Budget : more than 5000 RM
Designers : Zang Toi's 2007 fall collection, Jimmy Choo's Ramona ponyskin handbag (or any Milan top designers' collections would do)

love that bag!!!

Swimwear
Budget : 2000 RM
Designers : Ricochet's swimwear collection - Earthtones collection

Budget : 900-2000 RM
Designer : Melinda Looi

Dress
Budget : 500 - 800 RM
Designers : Beatrice Looi

Pants
Budget : 500-900 RM
Designers: Daniel Choi

How to Make a Woman Happy

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly

46. love shopping

47. be honest

48.. be very rich

49. not stress her out

50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

* birthdays

* anniversaries

* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

2. Bring food

hi all....check out my latest poll and tell me your results

Nidji's video - hapus aku

ideas for evening dresses

any ideas for prom nights or that special event? check out this collection

Fun Quizzes!!! feel free to take those quizzes!!

heya!!! i've found these quizzes on one of myspace websites... enjoy!!

Which season are you? Quiz

My Result Was:
You are Summer. You are fun-loving, warm, outgoing and flirty.

The dieting quiz Quiz

My Result Was:
You hardly diet at all. In fact, you don't care too much about dieting and live as you want. But hey, at least when you diet, make sure you don't break your diet.

yeah, its true...i couldnt care less about dieting

keklapiscoklat: happy mothers day to everyone!!

keklapiscoklat: happy mothers day to everyone!!

happy mothers day to everyone!!

hmmm its mother's day everyone!! Love you mum